Patrick's Past Reviews

Locke Lamora is a born thief, a genius of outrageous proportions. As the Thorn of Camorr, he is legend, a true master of guile and cunning. With the help of his own merry band of con artists, the Gentlemen Bastards, he relieves many a noble of his purse. When our hero and company encounter someone who may just be more clever and dangerous than they are, however, the proverbial plot thickens … quite viciously. The Capa Barsavi (think Tony Soprano) loves his lackey, The Grey King (your basic evil SOB) needs a patsy, and the Duke’s Spider (no hints here) wants the Thorn clipped. (Turns out those pesky nobles don’t much care for being fleeced out of their fortunes. Go figure.) Oh, what a tangled web we weave.

I’ve been hearing rumors about this one for almost a year … everything from “It’s way cool, dude!” to “It’s the best thing since sliced bread.” (This from other authors, mind you.) Rarely does such a novel live up to so much hype. Well, I don’t know about the bread thing, but The Lies of Locke Lamora IS way cool ... dude. And for a first book, it’s really quite extraordinary. Picture Ocean’s Eleven (the original, thank you very much) set in a fantasy Venice. At times laugh-out-loud funny, at others jaw-droppingly intense. The city’s real enough to tour (and as gritty as Miéville’s New Crobuzon), the characters real enough to jump off of the page and pick your pocket (or stop your heart), and the plot’s just plain amazing. This one’s not to be missed.

--PMH

Omega, as in Omega Clouds – the destroyers of worlds first chronicled in The Engines of God. Are they natural or artificial? Are they alive? Are they malevolent? No one knows. Indeed very little is known of the omegas, aside from the fact that they are drawn to right angles – the hallmark of sentient-made construction. When an omega comes across such construction, it attacks with a vengeance and with no warning, obliterating all visible traces. (Turns out that Chicken Little was right.) And there’s one headed towards Earth. No worries, though, they’ve been here before (remember Sodom and Gomorra?) and besides, said omega won’t arrive for another 900 or so years – plenty of time to figure the suckers out, right?

As research continues, a Space Academy ship discovers an omega heading towards a previously uncharted solar system. Now, instead of centuries, there are mere months to uncover the answers before an unsuspecting pre-industrial species falls beneath the omega’s shadow. This is the dilemma facing Priscilla “Hutch” Hutchins (hero of the aforementioned Engines, and of Deepsix, … and of Chindi) and company. Heck, all they really have to do is divert the undivertible, or at the very least, move a few hundred thousand souls out of their cities ... without, of course, interfering with their development. Piece of cake, right?

Omega is science fiction action adventure at its very best. Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear ... when authors didn’t spend half of their books showing us how smart they were; we just knew. A wise – and quite smart – man once wrote that the play’s the thing. Well, like ol’ Shakespeare, our buddy Jack knows a thing or two about spinning a most enjoyable yarn. Grab your e-suit and your lightbender and enjoy the ride.

---PMH

For Takeshi Lev Kovacs, formerly of the Envoy Corps, Altered Carbon begins with a death - his. Death, however, is hardly ever permanent in this brave new galaxy. He wakes to find himself on Earth, the birthplace of his kind ... and a bit of a backwater really. Seems a very rich and powerful Meth (short for Methuselah) wants Kovacs to solve his murder (that “death is hardly ever permanent” thing again). The police think it was suicide, and anyway, they have much better things to do with their time than to involve themselves in the affairs of some not really dead Meth. So Kovacs finds himself the private detective on the case in a dark future where your body’s just a rented sleeve and the seat of your soul is a cigarette butt sized “cortical stack” in the back of its neck.

Altered Carbon surfs the SF private eye wave that seems to be making a resurgence of late. Call it SF noir if you will ... and it’s real cool, man. Morgan mixes his noir and his tech seamlessly and with abandon. Think Blade Runner in bullet time. One minute you could almost believe you were reading a Philip Marlowe or Harry Bosch novel, the next you’re in Futureworld, orbiting Planet Kaitain in the Galaxy of the Obscure. One minute you’re being accosted by a couple of hired thugs, the next you’re purchasing particle weapons from a mandroid whistling Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? (Never @#$% with an Envoy; he’ll RD you for sure.) Oh, and if anyone out there could let me know where I could score some Merge Nine, I’d appreciate it.

--PMH

In Stan Robinson’s dream, Galileo was visited by far-future humans, inhabitants of the Jovian moons, who occasionally guided him in his experiments and sometimes brought him forward to their time to visit his discoveries. The question is with all of this meddling; will the time-line be altered? And will Galileo allow himself to be used as a pawn in their future machinations? In addition to trips forward in time, we are also treated to Galileo’s life and times, and his battles against the dogmas of his day. Seek truth and face the consequences ... and the inquisition ... or be safe and accept the status quo?

Stan’s writing is such that I often doubted what I remembered from my history of science courses, and I often found myself wanting to consult those texts. What is real and what is Stan? Only an author of Stan’s ability can write history and make it his own, and make it this believable.

--PMH

“I did two things on my seventy-fifth birthday. I visited my wife’s grave. Then I joined the army.” Thus begins Old Man’s War, the novel that made Scalzi the John W. Campbell Award Winner for Best New Writer in 2006.

Live your life on Earth and when you turn seventy-five, live a brand new life among the stars. Who better to fight your wars, some snot-nosed kid who thinks he knows all, or some old fart who might actually know a thing or two? You can bet your ass that when my bones start really creaking, I’ll wanna enlist, get rejuvenated, strap on an empee, and go fights me some aliens. Yeah, war is hell, but so’s getting older. Where do I sign?

Old Man’s War is just plain kick-ass science fiction action and adventure. Call it Starship Elders, if you will. Buy a copy and read it in one sitting.

--PMH

In an ultra-conservative (bordering on neo-fascist) United Republic of America, the command crew of the Alabama, America’s first starship, is involved in a grand conspiracy. They are planing to, and will ultimately succeed in, “rescuing” and “exporting” a large number of “dissident intellectuals,” stealing the Alabama, and thumbing their collective noses at a government “by a few people and for a few people.” And away they’ll go. The crew, however, does contain a few “loyal” Americans -- and five Republic soldiers. This will add a certain amount of spice to life on Coyote after the 230 plus years in cold sleep, but when you’re forty-six light-years from the nearest supermarket, you’ll need all hands on deck just to survive. Allen Steele knows how to tell a good story. Feel free to compare him to a young Arthur C. Clarke -- action and adventure, exploration and discovery, and little human friction to move things right along. Who could ask for a better way to spend a rainy Saturday afternoon?

--PMH

The time is now, or more correctly, the immediate future … 2025. Thanks to modern science, Robert Gu is young again, and not suffering from Alzheimer’s. It’s sink or swim time; get with the program and fight for what was lost or be exiled to Rainbows End.

Old Robert wasn’t the nicest person during his previous life, and even now tends to alienate those around him. Despite this behavior, his granddaughter Miri still works behind the scenes to help guide his education. And what an education it is … Robert’s back in high school, Fairmont High to be exact. Fast Times indeed. He and fellow classmate, Juan Orozco … <sm> an average kid with little real talent but with some grasp of what Robert will need to make it in the digital world</sm>*… team up to get by, in the classroom and out. And if that wasn’t enough, then there’s the Elder Cabal. There are angles and affiliations everywhere. And the fate of the world might just weigh in the balance. …tricks are for kids.

Vinge’s characters are real, but it’s the world they live in that’s the real mind-blower here. In this world, only hinted at (alternately) in the Hugo Award-winning novella, “Fast Times at Fairmont High,” Vinge blasts the reader with one day-after-tomorrow concept after another. Smart clothes (wearable computers!), virtual overlays, digitized libraries (no!), retreads, grand conspiracy, SHE, JITT, targeted bioweapons, YGBMs, world domination … and on and on and on. And you’re Alice in Wonderland … down the rabbit hole and circling the event horizon. Vinge’s a master storyteller in his prime … not a button left unpushed. Overly high praise you say? Just read it and see. … see how they run.

*Silent Message: Me—> You: <sm> A REAL book. Vinge: Future history: nominated/wins(?) another Hugo/Nebula … way cool/cold. EOF.</sm>

--PMH

A kid with his very own space ship. A kid well trained in the art of the con. A kid on the run for a crime he (for once) wasn’t involved in. A poet-warrior of the K’da very well trained in the honorable arts. The only survivor of a doomed advance expedition. The only being in a position to save what’s left of his race from annihilation. Kid and K’da, a match made in the heavens. Big-time adventure for kids of all ages. What’s not to love? Booklist calls it “A romp of a space thriller.” Couldn’t have said it better myself.

--PMH

This time out our hero, Zachary Nixon Johnson, Last PI on Earth, finds himself on the island of Lantis, hot on the trail of a queen-killer. His life is so fun! Loads of travel, interesting people, world-saving … oh, and lots of questions, questions, questions:

• Will Zach find the killer without getting too stomped on?
• Will Zach’s holographic sidekick (Don’t tell him I said that.) ever let Zach get a word in edgewise?
• Will Zach start to enjoy his disguise as an Amazon warrior a little too much?

Stay tuned!

Another highly entertaining outing for our boy Zach. Ol’ Zach can never catch a break. Every year brings more super-powered females bent on making Zach’s life just that more interesting. Good thing he has lots of help (and armored underwear). And me, you ask? (Okay, you didn’t ask, but I’ll tell you anyway.) Why, I’ve been walking around all day with a little smile on my face. Don’t know why, though. Perhaps it has something to do with all those blue (sapphire?) hairs I keep finding in my house, perhaps not. You’d think that such highly superior women (just ask them) would have better hair products.

--PMH